Wednesday, 30 August 2017

How to love a sociopath


Over the last year, I've come to realise that there isn't a lot I know for sure in life. Actually, I'm almost positive I know nothing, and I have no answers. I second guess myself a lot these days, because I'm not sure of anything anymore. He did that to me by taking away my ability to believe.

I used to believe in true love, forgiveness and magic. 

I wish I could remember why.

What I do know a lot about, is unhealthy relationships. It took me a long time to admit what was my fault, and what was his. It's hard to swallow, like unsweetened medicine. I have to take it, but it doesn't mean I like the taste. The truth is always bitter, even when it's on my side.

I never wanted to think of him this way, he used to be sweet. He used to be funny, grounded, and loyal. I sat with those words for a long time, guilt resting comfortably in my ribcage. "Used to be." I loved him dearly.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

Brief encounters

fireworks image
Six years ago, I never thought we would still know each other.

We started off as strangers turned friends, turned friends with benefits, then nothing. Then back again. We met through a friend, neither of us interested in knowing each other. We've had a lot to hide over the years, as much from each other as everyone else.

Our brief encounters gave us plenty to remember. It's too easy to get drunk on attention and high on nostalgia. Friendship is a fix.