Saturday, 8 March 2014

I quit my job, and left my comfort zone

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Last month,  I got rejected for a job I was almost certain I would get. Initially, I took it badly and had a strop. With hindsight I can see that it was for the best, but it doesn't mean that I'm not struggling with every day issues like paying the bills or finding money to buy a new mascara. Don't judge me on that one- mascara is an essential component to maintaining this look I lovingly like to refer to as "not dead in the eyes".

It sounds ignorant and naive to say I didn't think I needed a back up plan. For me, there was only ever Plan A, and there still is. Plan B is a temporary back up for the Summer, but not a valid choice for permanent security.

At the moment I'm in the middle of a trial position for a business development company. The only issue is- I don't have the foggiest idea about business. Error. There are things I know about such the Obamas, the best ways to drink tequila and how to use eyeshadow palettes. But business development skills are not on my list of accolades.

In essence if  this became paid I would be getting paid to write. But it's a little trickier than it sounds. What was sold as blogging is actually producing articles that is a delicate balancing act of articles and a sales pitch. My artistic integrity found this a problem to begin with, especially as I had to suddenly write from the perspective of a middle aged business man. It went against everything I had been taught and I did feel that if pushed too strongly that these blogs would frustrate the target audience, but we seemed to have found a balance with the voice we have produced for the blog.

 I had to give myself a crash course in international business development, and it is probably one of the most difficult things to write about something which is not your area of expertise. You win some, you lose some. Now most of my time is spent generally looking like a confused cartoon character.

Money has always been my worst enemy, and even while working full time I was never able to make anything more than enough to break even. Ask anyone and they will tell you all my leggings have holes in them and that I like to take the sugar sachets from Starbucks. Times are tough, you know. It's a bit like riding a carousel, when everything starts to blur and everything is out of focus. You're just waiting for it to stop, because you know it has to.
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In other (and exciting) news
Writing positions
As I still continue with my fantastic and beloved writing position for GenTwenty.com, I have also been offered a contributing writer position for EliteDaily.com. One road ultimately leads to another, and without GenTwenty I probably wouldn't have made it through the application process for EliteDaily. G20 is one of my favourite writing commitments and I have fantastic support from my editor and editor-in-chief. 

I'm still so excited I might throw up a little bit. EliteDaily.com has seen tremendous growth and I feel very lucky to even contribute. Aspiring writers can get an unlimited amount of exposure from websites and online magazines, and I personally feel it is more rewarding than doing several work placements in local media. Don't forget that I am terribly poor and I am the stereotype of a penniless writer, so maybe I'm not the best person to take career advice from.

We need to curb the expectation of instantaneous results. When the White Rabbit complains he's late for a very important date, we share the moment of urgency. You can't make something happen right now, but you can start right now and you can do it by leaving your comfort zone. The paralysis of comfort isn't an option, and everything about mediocrity should terrify you.

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No matter how much we fail, it all becomes make or break. You either rise to it and become whoever you were meant to be. Or let it drown you, and settle for everything less than you deserve. Get yourself off the carousel, and stop letting it whir you into a state of fear and confusion.

You should be in Wonderland, whatever that is for you and wherever it exists. When it all comes back into focus, you should be anything but ordinary and anything but a helpless bystander of your own life.