Tuesday, 15 October 2013

The art of getting your own way.

Image my own
We would all like to think that we always get what we want. Unfortunately, the existence of other people makes this a tricky conundrum. We probably all have different methods and a variety of schemes to be able to get our own way from any situation, but here are the ones I find to be the most effective.

In your relationship
There are two kinds of getting your own way in a relationship, the first is how to watch Gossip Girl everyday and make him watch it too. This one is glorious, all you have to do is kick up enough of a fuss and he will give in. Basically, you need to act like you are 6 years old. Men will do anything for an easy and happy life. If they think they are disrupting their own happiness, they will give in. It's a lot easier for him to agree and say "Yes, I do love Chuck Bass' purple bow tie." than to insist we watch something I don't care about.

What I learned about getting my own way in terms of things that don't matter, is to simply be as annoying as possible. Women have to sacrifice enough for men, the least Rhys can do is bring me some Party Rings home to have while I gaze lovingly at him (him being Chuck Bass, obviously).

The second kind is when you have an argument. There are the usual tactics, such as guilt trips and tears. These don't work after a while, so you have to resort to the most difficult strategy. Acting like an adult. This was particularly difficult information for me to digest at the beginning. This means all the delightful things that go hand in hand with grown up negotiations, such as compromise, listening, and not gloating. I am not dreadfully talented at any of these things. But that's the only way you're going to get even half of your own way with this one.

At work
This one isn't as easy as pouting and perfecting tear glazed eyeballs. This one does require skill, and a lot of patience. Basically, at work you're going to reap what you sow. If you put a slither of more effort into your job, maybe refrain from complaining for a few days and try to help out elsewhere, then you'll be in possession of some leverage. Negotiation is your master here, be a good student. Learn how to compromise, and deal with the possibility that this time you might not get your own way, but next time you will. Manipulation won't work here, your boss won't care if they get an easy life from you or not, so avoid scheming.

With your parents
As with work, you get what you give. So for 23 years I have given my parents years of joy and happiness that they created such a marvelous being. Lies, I have been difficult in the past. I never so much get my own way with my parents, as they just kind of help me out when I really need it. If you have spent your life working hard, and genuinely making mistakes and not just causing any kind of hassle for them, then they'll be more inclined to help you. However, I will always get my own way when it comes to the Christmas tree. I know you're all dying to know how I get my own way at the most hostile but magical time of the year, so this is the story. Basically, my Dad always wants to use a fake tree (I know, I feel dead inside just thinking about it) However, every year I will just stamp my feet and say some of the following;

  • "I'm so poor, I can't afford a real tree!" (True)
  • "But, I never get to come home! And now you want to ruin Christmas!" (First part is true)
  • "Santa would have a real tree!" (True)
  • "This is the only time of year I'm truly happy." (Half true)
  • "I won't shut up until there's a real tree." (The truest words that have ever been spoken)
Now, the last one is the best one. Because like with Rhys, my parents are more likely to give in just to stop hearing my incessant high pitched wails about a tree. The only thing I don't win on is clear fairy lights. They like coloured, I like clear. At least I get my tree, and then they have to clean up the pine needles while I eat five different kinds of cheese. You win some, you lose some.