Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Tipping is Optional: Lessons in Bar Work

Image courtesy of RyAwesome, flickr.com
I started this blog with things I learned in University and so after a small transition period I thought it was time for the next one. Things bar work taught me. Apart from learning that noon is a perfectly acceptable time of day to wake up, one could even go as far to say that noon is an early start. Also apart from the fact that as long as your work shirt isn't completely drenched in beer and Sambuca, that two day wear is also relatively normal.

1. All bar staff become bipolar. It's true. Insert generic busy night and we all hate absolutely every single person- including each other. Tip me a fiver for pouring you a Carling? Well, hello new best friend I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting. My name is Shelley and I will continue to be as charming as possible. Until you get snarky or tell me you've been sick on the stairs.

2. Pound coins have become more like gold than they ever did in university. It is these beauties that pay for my reduced sandwiches and cans of Monster.

3. No, I will not give you my number. Go and harass the girl with the patchy dirty potato tan and seven inch wedges on. If she's stupid enough to wear those in a pub in the winter then she's stupid enough to give you her number without switching a digit.

4. Being on radio duty is the greatest form of entertainment during nights where door staff also have radios.

5. As a customer, your favourite day is Friday. Friday is our Monday, please remember this.

6. Learning to stack glasses. Then learning to barge through people with them when they refuse to GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY.

7. Saving your friend from creepy slurring guy at the bar is the same thing as saving your friend from creepy dancing guy on a night out.

8. Sex on Fire. You'll be on fire if we hear this song again.

9. No, you cannot have your third JagerBomb for free.

10. Choose your order before you get to the bar, don't waste ten minutes of my time getting me to run back and forth.

Side note: to the bar staff I work with- I love you all, you bunch of losers.