Monday, 11 June 2012

In a Nutshell: What University Taught Me

A non journalistic post to kick it all off, my advice to anyone starting university this year.

1. Don't live with boys.
Forgive my 'boys have cooties' attitude, but don't live with boys. Just don't. The accumulation of body hair is enough to create a cuddly toy gorilla. If you do live with boy, keep him in a cage and let him out for dinner.

2. Pound coins are treasure.
You will never have enough change, ever. Breaking into a £10 for a taxi is heartbreaking. If you're in Swansea, use Yellowcabs, every single time.

3. Yes, you will use your house mate's milk, and they will use yours.
You can post it your food all you like, if it's no longer in the fridge, your flatmate has had it. There's always one.

4. Harvard Referencing System
They spent two weeks drilling this into our skulls in the first term of university. Remember, 'every time you use Wikipedia, God kills a kitten.' Meow.

5. You will vomit. In paper bags. Or on your carpet.
It happens, don't fear the inevitable.

6. Everyone will judge your degree
I lived with three geographers. Not one, three. Cue crayon jokes. I took Media Studies. Cue some kind of Mickey Mouse innuendo but I'm a blonde 21 year old with a love for American politics and a dissertation on 9/11 - there is no stereotype.

7. You will learn to either cook or bake. Or find someone to cook or bake.
Food is leverage on the inside. Embrace it.

8. You will argue with every single person you live with.
Its a good team building exercise. Even if you do want to smother them with a pillow.

9. I Have Never is for babies.
 But you will play it every single time, and pick on everyone you know.

10. You probably won't get a job at the end of it. Would you like fries with that?

I'm sad it's over.

Note: I am neither psychotic or some weird anti social hermit. Just to put that out there, I have friends - including the ones I want to 'smother with a pillow'.

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