Friday, 15 June 2012

I'll Be Your Lady in Shining Whatever: Why Men Need 'Saving'

Image courtesy of flickr - AllisonKo
Women live in an age where we now have what we always wanted- a generation of men that have come to terms with strong women, and often fall victim to overpowering personalities or characteristics. Why is it that women see other women as a threat to the men in their life? The bond of sisterhood has crumbled and women no longer stand united against misogyny, but united against each other.

I have men in my life that I feel this need to protect, and I find a great sense of empowerment in that. That women don't need a knight to saddle up his steed to come to their rescue, but that they can come to the rescue of others- even in the most unromantic way. We've cleaned up the mess, seen the bloodshed (literally- don't underestimate the power of athletically built girls) and we've made the cups of tea or bought the jagerbombs, whatever the day calls for. Its a day where the possibility of needing men still exists, but their need for us is stronger.

They call it feeling threatened, but we call it a gut feeling. Bad eggs exist in both genders, and we have a tendency to be able to pin point the exact problem.

These women can be divided into four main groups;

The Bitchy Female Friend (also known as, me)
No explanation needed.

The Femme Fatale
The one all girls dread walking through their front door in the early hours. This girl weaves her way into a man's life and brings a storm with her. I'm all for a good femme fatale archetype, and quite frankly the old Hollywood ideas of this type getting what she deserves at the end of her ninety minutes always bothers me. This woman  is the dangerous one, the one you don't want to cross but don't want to like. You can't pinpoint her appeal but you know it's there, she's walking napalm.  You don't trust her with your male friends, your boyfriend, her boyfriend, her male friends, or anyone else. But you keep her there. Safety in numbers.

The Maybe Crazy Girlfriend (but that ones okay)
This one can seem a little threatening to the men in your life, she's changed him in ways probably for the better, although he now deems his own relationship to be the pinnacle of all that is good and moral in the world. Anyway, sometimes you hate each other, sometimes you don't. Either way, its probably best to keep this one on your side.

The Definitely Crazy Girlfriend
The one we know is wrong. The one they think is 'the one'. This girlfriend is the one who creeps her way back in, usually on the male that looks like your archetypal Ken doll figure, but his weaknesses take away from his attractiveness- also known as, The Doormat. I hate to be a bit sexist, but I deduct 100 man points for each time a man lets himself get walked all over- or each time he lets himself be given a black eye and refuses help. We watch the fights, assess the damage, and pick up the pieces. Only for said male to get himself back into the same situation over and over. This girl sees every girl as a threat, but sees you as one because she knows that you know exactly who she is.

Amidst these women we have the strong female figures; the mothers, sisters, best friends (bitchy or not), even the right girlfriend can be the strongest force in a man's life. The interesting part is, all men need these women. The 'lad' culture that dominates the university lifestyle is quickly outgrown, and behind the success of a man often hides the intellect of a woman.

I read an article that girls should be taught to find good husbands, it is essentially Husband Hunting 101- be ambitious in relationships and your career. Ambition is one thing, but this reaffirms that women need a husband for a complete life- Snow White had to be kissed by a man before overthrowing a Queen and taking her crown, Cinderella had to be given the right shoe to break the shackles of her imprisonment, this idea of husband hunting suggests that women need that fairytale ending to have it all. What is having it all? There is the idea of being content with no man at all, what's wrong with living alone with a cat and a tea cosy anyway? That's a fairytale. Regardless of if your throne is a chair in a seedy apartment you share with your best friend with rent you can't afford, or an office chair in a skyscraper, we build our own kingdoms.

Side note: They say, trust no man, fear no bitch, but why not embrace the bitch - two heads are better than one.

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