Wednesday, 30 August 2017

How to love a sociopath


Over the last year, I've come to realise that there isn't a lot I know for sure in life. Actually, I'm almost positive I know nothing, and I have no answers. I second guess myself a lot these days, because I'm not sure of anything anymore. He did that to me by taking away my ability to believe.

I used to believe in true love, forgiveness and magic. 

I wish I could remember why.

What I do know a lot about, is unhealthy relationships. It took me a long time to admit what was my fault, and what was his. It's hard to swallow, like unsweetened medicine. I have to take it, but it doesn't mean I like the taste. The truth is always bitter, even when it's on my side.

I never wanted to think of him this way, he used to be sweet. He used to be funny, grounded, and loyal. I sat with those words for a long time, guilt resting comfortably in my ribcage. "Used to be." I loved him dearly.

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Saturday, 15 July 2017

Brief encounters

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Six years ago, I never thought we would still know each other.

We started off as strangers turned friends, turned friends with benefits, then nothing. Then back again. We met through a friend, neither of us interested in knowing each other. We've had a lot to hide over the years, as much from each other as everyone else.

Our brief encounters gave us plenty to remember. It's too easy to get drunk on attention and high on nostalgia. Friendship is a fix.

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Fragrance: Vera Wang Lovestruck Floral Rush

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Lovestruck Floral Rush Eau de Parfum 30ml
Finding your favourite perfume can be a bit of a task. Most of us buy perfumes and associate them with different times in our lives, and we rarely stick to one scent. Perfume is a luxury, and plenty of us wait for birthdays and Christmases to replenish our stock. 

Back in 2011, I discovered my signature scent. The original Vera Wang Lovestruck EDP is my longtime love, and I've gone through so much of it that my old bedroom quickly became a graveyard of glass bottles. 

At the moment, I have a couple of spritz's left in my old bottle, and I'm hanging on to them in case of an emergency. You know, like in case I meet Obama or the Queen.

I was rummaging through TK Maxx a few weeks ago, and came across this version of my old favourite. It was hidden on the bottom shelf behind some make up brushes and a broken eyeshadow, but patience is the key to finding anything in TK Maxx. I have no patience at all, because I like to see everything in front of me - but Rhys is great at rummaging, and usually finds things while I'm busy sulking at the mess.

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Photography: Fujifilm Instax Mini 90

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Over the last few years, I've really fallen in love with taking photographs. I won't call it photography, because I'm more of a hobby photographer and I won't take away from what professional photographers do. Sometimes, words can be exhausting. So when I can't write, I like to focus on something through a lens. It helps.

Okay, so I really like cameras. Unfortunately, it is a luxury hobby and I can't always afford to fund it in the way that I would like. Last year, I really got into the whole instant photography thing. I was gifted this by Rhys before we went to Florida in October. I had been nagging anyone who would listen for months. More than anything, I really wanted to come home with some tangible memories. I wanted something I couldn't copy, and couldn't replace.

Monday, 13 June 2016

Books: Mindy Kaling - Why Not Me?

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Oh Mindy, my long lost best friend. How I wish I knew you.

Basically, I want to be your buddy. Please, tell me anecdotes about Hollywood diets and the making of Kelly Kapoor. Let's have a cocktail and talk about who we'd rather play Truth or Dare with, Bill Clinton or President Obama? Let's debate pizza toppings and compare ex boyfriends.

With our incessant chattiness and self awareness, we could be a power couple: BFF edition. Like Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss, or Kim Kardashian and Instagram. We could make lists about our favourite scenes in Meg Ryan movies, and we could rank our favourite snack foods.

Sunday, 12 June 2016

25

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My hair hangs at the base of my back, and is not as golden as it used to be. I now have two silver scars on my left leg, three on my arm and one on my hand. My skin is flat where rosy cheeks used to be. Some things happen with age.

I always say that 21 was my glory age, and every year after that got progressively worse. You expect to have your shit together by 25, but it was probably the hardest, most traumatic year out of them all. The good news is that it is very nearly over.

It all sounds very much like another case of the quarter life crisis. Another twenty something using the Internet to moan incessantly about the complexities of adulthood. You've heard it all before. Your finger hovers above that grey cross in the corner of your computer. Except, you know that it's not a crisis. You know that sadness, confusion, and terror are all part of the human existence. Is there anything we're not afraid of?

Don't be so dramatic, Shelley. 

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Why everyone hates PRs


Everyone in PR has a bad reputation. We all get some flack for being lazy, or for hounding journalists who really don't want to take our calls. People assume we're all spin, no substance, and that we're simply journalism grads who didn't have the gravitas to make it.

It's rough out there for a lot of us in public relations, and we're constantly having to defend ourselves and prove our worth to everyone else in the industry.

So why does everyone hate us?

Monday, 30 May 2016

Beauty: Paul Mitchell MarulaOil Rare Oil Treatment

marula hair oil image paul mitchell
Rare Oil Treatment - £33.95/50ml


















If you have seen me at any point during the last year, you will have probably noticed that my hair has gone from Pretty Little Liars long to Rapunzel long. I'm not sitting on my hair or anything (and please take the scissors to my head before that happens), but I am enjoying the benefits of L'oreal style hair flicks and low maintenance waves. I'm also too pitifully poor to pay for my usual cut and colour at my salon.

That said, I have a lot of hair. It's also no secret that I absolutely despise washing my hair at the best of times, and anything that adds even more time to this process is usually a no-go from me. It's not that I'm lazy (lie), it's that it takes a great deal of mental preparation to deal with washing, conditioning and drying so much hair. Seriously, my arms ache and I'm not Popeye, its a lot of work.

Thursday, 26 May 2016

Words on paper






















Sometimes creativity abandons its master. A muse wants to be free, and will do anything to stay that way.

Working in PR does little to help this. 

Before anyone launches into full on defence mode, hear me out. I write a lot of copy. I produce my fair share of press releases, blogs and web content, and without much thought there are words on white paper. Black ink in Times New Roman, size 12. I can type until it makes sense, and I can do it in a way which pleases everyone (or at least I hope so).

Typing everyday means that on occasion, words blur together. They don't hold much meaning, and they're just a means to an end. These words serve their purpose, and I start to search for more. Sometimes they come out violently, and at other times, arrive stiff with boredom.

Monday, 23 May 2016

Fragrance: Beyonce Heat Rush EDT

beyonce perfume heat rush image
Over the last few weeks, my colleague and I have been hunting for interns. We've been hand picking the best candidates, and interviewing them. Our third and final intern was secured last week, and I'm pretty sure that apart from her stellar CV, likeable persona and familiarity with the company, that I was instantly swayed by how good she smelt.

About five minutes into our interview, I just had to ask her what she was wearing. To me, it was very reminiscent of the short lived SJP NYC by Sarah Jessica Parker, which to this day is one of my favourite perfumes. I've seen it back in stock recently, but not had the opportunity to get it. Instantly, I was adamant I needed this perfume. It's also quite similar to the fruity perfumes released by Escada every summer, if that's something that floats your boat.